We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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