im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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