Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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