We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
