We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
