There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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