Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
whose parrot is this?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
