We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize