Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Randomize
