Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
