apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize