I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
