there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
