he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
