It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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