I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just found puke in my bra..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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