At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
