You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
