he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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