Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Randomize
