He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
