I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
