Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
