I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
