So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
