After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize