Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
