i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize