Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
