Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
