She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize