I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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