id be glad to
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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