and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
