do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
