I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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