Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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