kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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