You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
