so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
