Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
