they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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