While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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