i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
