im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I didn't notice because vodka
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
