Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
