she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
