So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
