We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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