You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Randomize
