On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My liver just had a heart attack.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
