id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
