ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
