What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
