9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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