My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
