his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
