Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
