A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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